Understanding Grief and Loss for People with Developmental Disabilities: Supporting Our Loved Ones Through Life’s Hardest Moments
Grief is never simple. It’s complex, deeply emotional, and uniquely experienced by each person. For individuals with developmental disabilities (DD), autism, or dual diagnoses, the journey through grief can look very different, and it’s often misunderstood or overlooked.
At Got Your Back (GYB), we work every day with young adults who experience the world in beautifully unique ways. When they face loss—whether it’s the passing of a parent, a caregiver, a pet, or even a significant life change like moving homes—the impact can be profound. Yet their grief is often unrecognized because it doesn’t always look like what we expect.
What Grief Might Look Like for Someone with a Developmental Disability
For people with developmental disabilities, grief may not follow the patterns we’re used to seeing. It might show up as:
Changes in behaviour – Increased agitation, withdrawal, or repetitive behaviours may surface as expressions of distress.
Regression in skills – Someone may lose skills they previously mastered, such as using the toilet, communicating verbally, or engaging socially.
Physical symptoms – Sleep disruption, changes in appetite, or stomachaches can be indicators of emotional turmoil.
Literal thinking – Many people with autism or DD interpret language literally. Euphemisms like "they went to sleep" or "they’re in a better place" can lead to confusion or fear.
It’s important to remember that someone doesn’t have to cry or say "I’m sad" to be grieving. Their way of expressing loss is valid and deserves understanding.
How Families and Caregivers Can Support Their Loved Ones
Be honest, but gentle.
Use clear, concrete language. Say, “Grandma died. That means her body stopped working, and she won’t be coming back.” This helps avoid misunderstandings and builds trust.Make space for questions.
Answer as many times as needed. Repetition helps with processing and acceptance.Acknowledge their grief.
Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or scared. Use visuals or social stories to help explain emotions.Stick to routines.
Structure provides safety. While life may feel chaotic after a loss, predictable routines can be calming.Celebrate the person who was lost.
Create memory books, draw pictures, light a candle, or visit a place they loved. Making grief tangible helps processing.Reach out for help.
You don’t have to do this alone—and neither does your loved one.
How Day Programs Like GYB Can Help
At GYB, our team is trained to support members through life’s ups and downs, including grief. Here’s how we help:
Safe space to express emotions – Through art, music, movement, and storytelling, our members explore how they feel in non-verbal and verbal ways.
Trauma-informed support – Our staff are trained to understand the behaviours that often signal deeper emotional pain.
Grief-focused workshops – We facilitate grief discussions, memory-building activities, and social stories that help members understand and cope with loss.
Peer connection – Being surrounded by a caring community that "gets it" can be one of the most healing experiences.
Our goal isn’t to "fix" grief—it’s to sit in it with our members, support them through it, and remind them that they are never alone.
Grief and Disability Resources in the GTA
Below are some grief-specific resources for individuals with developmental disabilities in Toronto and the GTA:
Virtual & In-Person Supports
Community Living Toronto
Offers grief support groups and workshops tailored for individuals with intellectual disabilities.
https://cltoronto.caKerry’s Place Autism Services
Provides autism-informed mental health supports including grief counselling.
https://www.kerrysplace.orgGrief Stories (Accessible Podcasts and Videos)
A collection of real grief stories in various formats, including audio, that can help normalize and explore the experience of loss.
https://griefstories.orgEveryMind (Mississauga, Peel Region)
Offers counselling and family support services for youth and individuals with complex needs.
https://everymind.caChild and Parent Resource Institute (CPRI)
Based in London, but many of their grief and trauma resources are accessible online.
https://www.cpri.caToronto Public Health – Grief and Bereavement Services
A general service directory that includes disability-friendly options.
https://www.toronto.caL’Arche Toronto Sol Express
Offers creative arts programming and emotional wellness support for adults with intellectual disabilities.
https://larchetoronto.org
Grieving is a deeply human experience. At GYB, we believe that every person, regardless of ability, deserves the dignity, space, and support to move through their grief in their own time and way. If you or someone you know is navigating loss, please know we are here, and we’ve got your back.
Written by Sean Guptill, Founder and Program Coordinator at GYB
Visit us at gybtoronto.com to learn more about our community and how we support young adults with disabilities every step of the way.
